Okay, show's over folks. Let's move on. Time to heal, rebuild, reunite, blah blah blah.
I'm happy to report that I voted, by the way. This is not always a given. I used to answer relatives, shocked that a man with a Ph.D. in political science wasn't voting, with statistics showing that the odds of one vote influencing the presidential election were less than the odds of getting hit by lightning on the way to the polls.
Then that whole kerfufle in Florida happened, ruining a perfectly good excuse. So Tuesday I joined my wife at the polls (she's always been a better citizen than me). We pulled up in our minivan that has a big "Jesus Is The Standard" sticker on it, dragged out our three kids, and slowly ambled across the parking lot. Somebody accosted us and tried to thrust some literature into our hands.
Because there's obviously some doubt about how the obnoxiously overt pro-life Christian man with multiple kids is going to vote.
Once we got inside things moved pretty quickly. The advantage of living about 9,000 miles from a major metropolitan area. It makes for a hell of a commute, but every two years I get the express lane at the polls. We voted, with some advice from Caleb. I told him that in daddy's world people who don't own property don't get a vote, and so he should zip it.
Afterwards we all got those self-righteous "I voted" stickers (subtext: "why haven't YOU voted yet, you freaking communist?"), including Caleb and Eli, who got two apiece.
That's a trend with both of them, because they're so stinking cute. They got enough candy Halloween night, after just one trip up our street, to give an entire African nation diabetes. They were both dressed like firemen. Caleb would charge up to each door and announce his presence, usually to an extremely insightful comment like, "Oh, are you a firefighter?" Each time he answered, "No, I'm a rescue hero."
Eli was always behind him, timid and much quieter. He'd insist, in his tiny little voice, "I'm a rescue hero too."
Then the candy would flow. My God, they are precious. But then you already knew that, didn't you?