Yeah, odd thing about $tarbucks. Their coffee basically tastes like very flavorful and expensive motor oil unless thoroughly diluted with just about anything. Since my "home office" is the one just down the street from my house, I've noticed very few perople actually buy their coffee as is. What I have yet to figure out is how anyone could possibly order at 7:00a.m. anything with lots of chocolate and whip cream in it.

I'm one of thos people who sees no need to "develop" a taste for anything, ever. There are more than enough things in the world to like, why bother trying "develop" a liking for something else? (Especially when the somthing else is either expensive or gives bad breath, or both.)

Of course, it helps that am one of those (un)lucky few whoare affected by caffeine... differently. The only time I made use of caffeine was when I needed to get up VERY early the next morning: I would slam a Mountain Dew (I don't like it, but it has the highest caffeine on the market, though Dr. Pepper is a close second, but I don't like it either) and go to bed early (like 7PM).

About 5 minutes later, drug-induced slumber would take me, willing or not.

You can see why I never developed a taste for coffee...

(Besides the fact that it tastes absolutely disgusting, that is.)

No, no, no. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good. Coffee is good.

Nope. Still tastes disgusting.

OK, hold on just a minute here. I haven't posted since the Viggo Mortensen thread last year (but neither have you..Ha! I kid!) but this whole coffee confession requires, nay, compels me to write.

First of all, your statement I'm a coffee-drinker now could not be further from the truth. You are revealed if the previous paragraph when you stated you use lots-of-cream-and-sugar. Tony, you are still drinking candy!

I demand you cease this intolerable desecration of this most heavenly of elixirs, blessed by the Pope himself, and consume it as God intended; black, hot, and bitter (like my soul).

Refuse, and I will personally have your "Southern Man" license revoked. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to return to my roasting.

Coffee is a gift from God.

Though, Tony, it sounds like maybe you don't really need it, if you're taking on Porsches at 60 in 2nd gear .... is that with or without the caffeine? ;-)

I know I should be staying away from caffeine, but this third pregnancy has instead been slowly turning me into an addict. I used to be a tea drinker almost exclusively, but in the past few months I've found it harder and harder to get started without coffee. Of course, mine hardly counts as coffee. My husband makes me breves, with flavored syrup and nice frothy half-and-half you can hardly tell that there is yucky tasting coffee in there.

I actually like the taste of coffee -- but it has to be real good coffee, not Starbux swill. That must have its taste disguised by various dairy products, sweeteners, and candy-flavored syrups to be palatable.

By the way, "real good" coffee is the stuff that only grows on one tiny coffee plantation in the foothills of some isolated tropical place like Pitcairn Island and costs about $575 per pound. So I haven't had very much good coffee.

I've always wondered how long before I got kicked out of the South.

Factors weighing towards delisting: I don't like iced tea, and I've never seen Gone With the Wind.

Factors weighing towards Southerness: I like to shoot stuff, I say "y'all," and I feel compelled to punch men who insult me.

It's a toss-up.

I'm under the impression that tea has roughly twice the caffeine. If you simply MUST learn to drink something, go with tea. Add enough sugar and lemon and you're set. If you don't like tea, you aren't adding enough sugar, or you're a freak/yankee that thinks adding sugar after the tea cools will get the job done, or (heaven forbid) you try to drink it unsweetened. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

That was one of the best things when we moved south: restaurents serve sweet tea. I remember right after we had our first boy, my husband took me out to dinner. He left the table for a few minutes and came back to find me in tears because they didn't serve sweet tea. He looked at me, and told me it would be ok because he would fix it. I was introduced to the concept of half-tea/half-lemonade. It got me through the next five years of exile.

Tony,
if you can eat enough grits and ham biscuits, you'll find the "Southerness" coming out of you (or that may just be a belly drooping over a belt).

I do miss your regular posts but am glad for what you can write. The free ice cream will probably be even scarcer once the boy "pops out". Family comes first.

The compulsion to punch insulters does not make us Southerners. It's the actual punching that does it.

While we are still on coffee, or, at least, while I am still raving about it...

Starbucks tastes all funky because they overroast their beans. They zoom past "french", which is very dark with an oily sheen, and get dangerously close to "spanish", which is a nice way of saying burned. Overroasting your beans (no jokes, please) hides deficiencies in the beans, allowing Starbucks to mix in some cheapo robusta with the arabica and cover up some skanky soil flavors in the process.

I don't understand the Porsche comment but I hardly think she would to redline it.

Instead of coffee next time try some hot chai. I find chai taste a world better then any coffee.

Re the would-be lane-stealer in the Porsche: we were both at a light, she in a lane about to end, me in the lane that everyone knows to get in. She tried to punch it to get in front of me, but she dutifully shifted her gears as her speed climbed. Problem is, unless you are a speedy little gear-shifter, you lose a split-second with each shift. So if you want to beat someone off the line, you've got to "redline" (i.e., not shift until your rpm's climb to the point that a quick shift will give you more speed than simply keeping the accelerator pressed to the floor).

All of which is another way of saying it's probably a good thing I can't afford anything more than the Honda.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who stays on the gas as long as possible :). The shift on my Civic at high rpms isn't quite as fast as it was on the (very old) Integra, though.

Coffee - elixir of life. Don't worry - eventually you'll learn to enjoy it as God intended - hot, black and strong.

Blessings on you for sharing your family and faith journeys with us here. And many prayers for the safe "popping out" of the newest son.

Endearing, Disjointed Posts.

I write smart, sassy political and social commentary every doggone day, but what do I get e-mails on? One that I wrote about coloring my wife's hair.

Go figure

Tim McNabb
fivehundredwords.com

Re the would-be lane-stealer in the Porsche:

With all due respect. I find your actions and comments interesting. I disagree with your actions. You assume she knew what lane to be into. Maybe she was from out of town or doesn't travel much in that part of town. I guess it would have killed you to be courteous and let her over. Or did it have something to due with the fact it was a Porsche?

I am always amazed by the "competitive" street driver. This phenomenon always occurs around me when I am driving sporty cars. Seems like everyone wants to have a story to tell. About how they took down a Porsche or _insert sporty car name here_ today. A few years ago when I was younger. I would have given in to the urge to teach a lesson to the other driver. But now days I just wave and smile. Unless we're on the track but that is another story.

Have a great weekend and take care.

AC,

I don't think it has anything to do with Porsches or sports cars :) It has everything to do with jerks who do that sort of thing on purpose (as I do from time to time *grin*). I know we can't know for certain, but I highly doubt she didn't know that lane was ending. Perhaps Tony can clarify by letting us know if she had one of those "smug-I-know-what-I'm-doing" looks.

I know this much - if I am being a jerk and trying to blow by a bunch of people knowing a lane is ending - I don't expect anyone to let me in - I just have to look for a slowpoke and take to opening and suffer the unkind gestures.

However! If I am having a calmer day and decide to dutifully get in that lane early like a good boy - I'm an equal opportunity driver. Jerkies who seem to have it all planned out don't get over if I can help it. An old lady with a befuddled expression is kindly allowed over.

Perhaps we all just need some prozac. Or maybe, I just like driving like that.

AC,
The only reason her car type was relevant to the story was because a more competent driver behind the wheel could have taken my lane. There were several signs announcing the closure to a single lane. And, if she hadn't known the lane was ending, she wouldn't have floored it when the light turned green.

Well, I could continue to argue my point. But, I am to tired with recent revelations. I'll just close by saying I disagree.