I just discovered Amy's blog, and I think that you should visit it. Start with this essay. Anyone who has ever wrestled with God will find that her words resonate within.

Update
I haven't been able to get Amy's essay out of my head. It struck me in particular because I am reading Philip Yancey's excellent Disappointment With God. In it he quotes Herman Melville:

"The reason the mass of men fear God, and at bottom dislike Him, is because they rather distrust His heart, and fancy Him all brain like a watch."

Even the mournful words in the last letter of one of God's apostles carries a hint of this fear at being in the grip of a Creator whose purposes exceed our knowledge:

"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come."

But the faithful Paul continues:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing."

It seems that many faithful paths lead to Golgotha. Most of us do not forfeit our lives in one shedding of blood and flesh, rather we forfeit pieces at a time -- for perhaps this is the only way we can bear it -- dying to ourselves a slow death, persevering for a perfection that we cannot attain here and, truth be told, do not really want.

And we wonder, does he hear us? Does the being who set all of this in motion hear our cries and care? Even the man after his own heart wondered this.

"I cried out to God with my voice --
To God with my voice;
And He gave ear to me.
In the day of trouble I sought the Lord;
My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;
My soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed."

I read through these psalms as my daughter lay dying. I found anguish to match my own, and hope that for a time I shared, and rejoicing that I could not understand. At some point, I knew I was reading them not just for my own edification, but in order to find something to read at her funeral. I settled on sections of the fortieth psalm, because it captured in one place both our despair and our hope.

"I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth --
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.

Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust,
And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works
Which You have done;
And Your thoughts toward us
Cannot be recounted to You in order;
If I would declare and speak of them,
They are more than can be numbered.

. . .

I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness
In the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,
O Lord, You Yourself know.
I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth
From the great assembly.

Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.
For innumerable evils have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;
They are more than the hairs of my head;
Therefore my heart fails me.

. . .

Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let such as love Your salvation say continually,
'The Lord be magnified!'
But I am poor and needy;
Yet the Lord thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God."

Hope and fear, rejoicing and trembling. For some reason these contrary emotions are bound up together in our experience with this Creator.