Unfortunately, the students are the people who really suffer at the hands of professors like Miss Blessing. A professor who is bitter about their lot in life has no business working a job that requires patience, compassion, and flexibility.

Not to defend Ms. Blessing, but I will - as a long-time single woman myself - note that there are inequities. For example, I am one person with one salary. At Christmas time I get gifts for two siblings, their spouses and a total of four children. The siblings, with two salaries (or one and a half, in one case) buy one present for me from their whole family, costing roughly what I spend for each of them. So, I spend $200 for gifts and get two $25 gifts back . I'm not complaining - I like buying them gifts - but I'm just saying, it's something to think about. I pay taxes for schools that I don't use, I make an effectively lower salary because my benefit package does not have the same dollar value as a family package. No one threw me showers when I moved out on my own; I bought everything from sheets to pancake turners. This year I'm going to buy seven high school graduation presents. I have no children to rack up gifts when it's their turn. Again, not complaining, just pointing out. And my family has, over the years, been very generous to me, so I'm blessed that way.

I'm also not saying things have to change, and certainly Ms. Blessing did sound quite snarky. But that doesn't change the fact that our society is very geared to families. There are benefits to being single, but sometimes you get kicked in the butt because of it too.

I'm just sayin', is all :). And for the record, I'm not high maintenance.

Ah, but it is better to give than to receive, yes? As for benefits and schools, these are problems with our tax and government structure, and should be amended asap. Privatize the schools, and end favorable treatment for benefits in the tax code. I'm sure Bush will get around to both in his second term.

Regarding the failure of your friends and family to celebrate your moving out on your own -- who could blame them? It was a time of mourning.

Society is geared towards families. All that tried it the other way pretty quickly ceased to exist. But, we don't mean to alienate the singles -- the enjoyable ones, anyway. So from now until you are married with a brood of your own, you will welcomed with open arms into the Woodlief home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and all the other occasions when food, drink, and celebration are called for. Or, you can just stop by for a visit. And you don't even have to bring us presents.

This old bachelor's solution: buy gifts when you see something you want to get someone. Ignore "gift-giving occasions" as commercialism/consumerism gone wild.

Works, mostly.

Susanna: I have a solution to the one-gift thing: buy them all a ticket to some place they want to go (if you all lived down here I'd say Sea World or Universal or some place like that) -- or, probably better and more grown up, offer to take them all out to one dinner at some nice restaurant. (This will work better, of course, if you all live near each other).

About the single thing... I'll always be single, with a cat, but I like to think I've grown out of the "why can't I get perks tooooo..." whine. If that woman had friends, they'd throw her a party for her. I'm just saying.

Referring to Benita Blessing, Josh writes "A professor who is bitter about their lot in life has no business working a job that requires patience, compassion, and flexibility."

As a graduate student in Blessing's department, I'd like to argue against Josh's assumptions about Dr. Blessing. In truth, she is an excellent communicator and teacher, and her qualities of "patience, compassion, and flexibility" are present in abundance.

Whether or not these qualities are somehow proportional to her marital status isn't for me to judge, but I can say without caveat that she brings a great deal of enthusiasm, tact, and skill to the classroom. She is one of our best instructors.