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January 23, 2003
Miscellany

Today is one of those days I'm not able to compose a complete essay on anything. Some of you may feel tempted to inform me that I have more of those days than I think. That would be unkind. In any event, I have a few thoughts, some bordering on insight, others well within the bounds of spiteful commentary, to share with you.

* I got an ugly email from someone offended by my review of that awful song, "Christmas Eve in Washington." I think my original post is summed up in this observation: no city that elected Marion Barry can rightfully be called "America's home town." I won't quote the email here, simply because I don't want to encourage that sort of thing, but it boiled down to this: the song raised over $100,000 for charity, and I am a vicious, hateful little toad.

Three words for you my friend: Nude. Car. Wash. Talk about your charitable fundraising opportunity. In other words, there are a lot of ways to raise money for charity without afflicting one's fellow man with trite lyrics and a terrible voice. What's more, I think this approach was sub-optimal. Sure, the song raised $100 grand by virtue of being sold, but think how much more it could have raised had local disk jockeys promised not to play it, if their audiences would pledge a ransom of, say, $200,000? Let's start thinking outside the box, people.

* Most days I take a train to work. There are a great many Pentagon employees who take the same train. I've noticed that they are greatly concerned about pay grades, promotions, and the concomitant box checking. I've heard many conversations on this topic, lasting for twenty minutes, thirty minutes, an hour. Apparently the military works very much like the Boy Scouts, except with less personal danger to the higher ranks. Imagine that Boy Scout merit badges had little to do with actual skills, and that the number of Eagle Scouts is limited by outdated military strategies rather than by high standards, and you've basically got the U.S. Army.

* I once got berated for using the word "concomitant" in a memo. My response was simply that it was a word that fit the best. I had to rewrite the memo, using more words, in order to eliminate "concomitant." Some companies seem to reward surface-level illiteracy, as an indication or work ethic, or seriousness, or business sense, or something. In the Midwest they like to say "put it in Okie," as a means of suggesting than one is being too complex and unfocused. This, to me, seems an insult to Oklahomans.

To be sure, this challenge is frequently leveled at people who are trying to be too clever by half. Still, it seems to reinforce the nobody-outside-my-business-can-tell-me-anything mentality that ultimately destroys a business, usually after the Okies have long-since retired under the delusion that they were entrepreneurs rather than parasites.

* I'm disturbed, when I fly or ride the train, by the number of people who willingly embark on a trip of an hour or more without anything to read. I read a wonderful essay once by someone who referred to such people as "aliterate." I see many of the same people every day, just sitting and staring at their hands, out the window, at their fellow passengers. Not all of them get motion sickness. I have the suspicion that some of them simply do not read.

These comprise the natural lobby, by the way, for the installation of televisions in the remainder of public space not yet afflicted with that miserable device. Most waiting rooms have long-since been taken over, and now some gas stations and grocery store check-out lines have sprouted them. How long before every plane and train ride becomes a steady din of Oprah and "Seinfeld" reruns?

There seems to me no stronger indictment of government schools, and of the parents who support them, than their failure to cultivate a love of reading (or music -- most of these people aren't wearing headphones either) among their charges. I suppose this begins at the beginning. How about this for a new law -- any teacher caught in one of these long-duration waits without a book or CD of decent music is immediately fired and de-licensed?

Posted by Woodlief on January 23, 2003 at 08:49 AM


Comments:

As one of those people who has missed my stop because of the level of absorption almost any book demands of me, Amen to that law.

Posted by: Cis on January 23, 2003 09:27 AM

The problem with that last suggestion is that it implies that teachers CAN be fired de-licensed. From my experience, the only way to do that is to be accused of some kind of sexual crime with a student (notice the word "accused" as opposed to "convicted").

As to the rest - you need to discount parents of small children (if I get a spare moment on a trip, it's for sleep).

Posted by: Deoxy on January 23, 2003 09:58 AM

well...
I'd rather look out the window and watch the world pass by. I took the T to Boston 3 years ago. A 45 minute ride, I stared out the window the whole time. We went behind Bridgewater State Prison, we went over a bridge, and past alot of people's houses. I was impressed. People read to escape. Like... when people walk for exercise, it is nicer to bring headphones because it stops you from free thinking. So there.

Posted by: Stacey on January 23, 2003 12:41 PM

I think there is a huge difference between planes, trains, and automobiles. Well, okay, drop the autos. :) But on planes there is much less in the way of up-close and interesting scenery which people can engage with. I say engage because I've found that riding the train in various places in the US and europe can give you an interesting perspective on how communities have evolved. It can also be just plain pretty, if you're taking a long-haul train through a pretty area.

On planes, I can't imagine doing without reading material, because there really isn't the opportunity to take advantage of the thinking or appreciation opportunities which the terrain presents to you.

Stacy, with regard to your comment about reading for escape, I think that it's true if you're reading stories or fiction... But I also think that there are other reading materials which can help connect you more closely to your journey or where you're headed. Travel guides, for example, history, etc. Or an even better example might be Alain de Botton's wonderful 'The Art of Travel', which I read on my plane flight from Brussels to Venice last summer.

Posted by: gabe kostolny on January 23, 2003 01:54 PM

I'm one of those who do get motion sickness. I simply cannot read in any type of moving vehicle including a plane (don't even try to tell me I shouldn't be able to sense the movement; I'll keelhaul you). I have to be at the window seat (except in planes, when I have to be _away_ from the window seat-- then I use a walkman to try to zone out entirely; I hate plane trips). I use the opportunity of a car or train trip to look out the window and write stories in my head, which I write down as soon as I am not moving anymore. I usually do have a book with me, just in case...

Posted by: Andrea Harris on January 23, 2003 02:23 PM

Is a conservative actually advocating for MORE government controling people's personal lives, rather than less? What is this world coming to....

Posted by: Palmer Haas on January 23, 2003 03:14 PM

Mr Haas:

ROFLMAO!

Posted by: Deoxy on January 23, 2003 04:56 PM

Your assessment of the Army is spot on. One of the many reasons I left....although the Air Force is only incrementally better...

Posted by: nathan on January 23, 2003 06:04 PM

Some of us don't ride often enough to think to bring something until it's to late.

I hate riding the train, because I always spent the whole time wishing I had a book.

Posted by: Aaron Armitage on January 23, 2003 09:25 PM

I'm afraid I go so far as to keep a stash of "emergency" books in my car, in case the situation should arise that I would be stranded somewhere without one.


Posted by: Sandra on January 23, 2003 09:40 PM

You forgot one other difference between the Army and the boy Scouts. Artillery and adult supervision.... you can figure out who has what!

US Army 88-93

Posted by: chris crofoot on January 24, 2003 06:10 PM

I read heavily at home but never take planes on flights. I enjoy looking out the window. When I used to try to read, I would read a page or two and end up staring out the windows for twenty minutes, read another page or two, stare out the window...so I dropped the pretense of reading.

Posted by: addison on February 4, 2003 03:19 PM

Typo: I never take "books" on flights.

Posted by: addison on February 4, 2003 03:20 PM

Nice summary... thanks for posting it.

Posted by: zipcode on October 12, 2003 08:00 AM

you are so right!

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