July 12, 2002
Heroes and Prayer
Parade magazine featured a profile of Harrison Ford last weekend, giving me still more reasons to hope that his new movie, K-19, is a flop. The article trumpets Ford's strong moral sense, which leads him to be an ardent environmentalist. All well and good, until I read that he's fathered four sons by two different wives, managing to divorce both of them while his sons were still young. Strong moral sense indeed.
Then there's the movie itself. Start with the name. K-19. It sounds like the misfortunate fusion of a really bad cop-dog buddy movie with an even worse ski movie. The trailer, while meant to project drama and intense action, simply inspires giggling. If you haven't seen it, picture Harrison Ford in a big furry cap with a defunct red Soviet star on the bill, speaking with a comic faux Russian accent. Then picture Liam Neeson replying in an even worse Russian accent. Then imagine sitting for a couple of hours and listening to these two argue in Russianese, and ask yourself how inspired you are to sit through this flick.
Finally, there's the narration by Serious Man. You know him, he's the guy who narrates the trailers for all the macho drama flicks. He says things like "They've been pushing around this town for years, but now they're facing someone who fights back" (cut to karate fight scene); or, "Sometimes, courage means standing for what's right" (cut to brave attorney standing up to corporate bigwigs).
Well, in the K-19 trailer, here's what Serious Man says: "Some men pray for a miracle; heroes make one happen."
Maybe in your tinsel world, Serious Man, there's a difference between men who pray and men who are heroes. My heroes pray. In fact, most courageous men and women with whom I'm familiar were people who prayed. George Washington: father of our country, into the God thing. Robert Lee: on his knees every night. The guys who took Omaha Beach: lots of prayers went up that day. Mother Theresa: quite the little prayer warrior. The firefighters pulling bodies out of the tower wreckage: praying to a man.
So take your faith/hero dichotomy and choke on it, because this is one man who fights back (cut to shot of fingers typing furiously).
Posted by Woodlief on July 12, 2002 at 09:16 AM
You may not know the story upon which the movie is based. The Soviets launched the K 19, (which was a nuclear powered sub) in a big hurry to show those rascally Americans that they could not be intimidated by fancy technology. Well, the reactor had a problem and by accounts (that are only recently coming to light), the actions of the captain and crew were nothing short of heroic. Of course, being godless Communists they did not pray. (wanna bet?) But I agree, just because the Soviets didn't name their subs catchy fish names or after big cities, couldn't the producers just have gone with the subtitle "Widowmaker"? And Serious Voice Man has become such a joke you would think that they would find someone else.
Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech at July 12, 2002 4:03 PM
i loved the idea that the title sounds like a dog/cop movie crossed with a ski movie.
but you forgot the most popular serious man line of all: "in a world they did not create..." (cut to hero looking determined) "in a world they did not understand..." (cut to explosions) "they found each other" (scene of hero and heroine looking deeply into each others eyes).
Posted by: xnerg at July 12, 2002 6:10 PM
you've reminded me of a favorite song by Petra ... "Get on your knees and fight like a man!"
Posted by: Pam Jernigan at July 12, 2002 6:19 PM
Really? I liked the trailer. I thought it looked like a good movie. It's actually on my mental list of things I want to see.
*hangs head in shame*
Posted by: Christine at July 19, 2002 6:54 PM