Angry at being listed in U.S. President Bush's "Axis of Evil," millions of Iranians have taken to the streets, according to the New York Times, in order to prove him wrong by chanting "Death to America!" and burning the U.S. flag. Through my international terror connections I have obtained an exclusive interview with one of the protestors, Mr. Mohammed Khami:

SitG:"What do you and your fellow protestors want to say to the world?"

Khami:"We are not an axis of evil, as your President Bush has called us. We prefer to be called an axis of Misogynistic Totalitarianism. There's a difference, you know."

SitG:"What do you hope to accomplish by taking to the street today?"

Khami:"Well, just between you and me, my boss has been on my ass to get this big report finished, but with everyone out protesting, he can't really come down on me for it. Plus when the crowd really gets rocking and people are flailing about, sometimes you can see a chick's ankle or wrist.

You aren't going to print this are you?"

SitG:"What do you hope will come from all of this?"

Khami:"I hope that the Americans will choke on their own vomit, and be consumed by the fiery hell that knows no quenching."

"I also hope to get a job in my brother Abdul's computer shop in Detroit, once my papers are cleared. And I think I have a shot at getting on Survivor. Those wussies don't know the first thing about suffering. I would eat them alive one by one until there's nobody left but me and Amber Brkich. She's a hottie."

SitG:"Thank you for your time."

Khami:"May worms devour your intestines. Here's a copy of my resume'."