If you're like me, you find it unbearable to watch movies with Susan Sarandon or Alec Baldwin that don't end in the early, fiery deaths of their characters. The reason is not because they are untalented, it is in addition to the fact that they are untalented. Quite simply, their uninformed and frequently expressed political opinions have forever ensconced them in my mind as the human analogs of the sheep in Orwell's Animal Farm. My brain interprets three-quarters of the dialogue of "Thelma and Louise," for example as:

Thelma: "Baa."

Louise: "Baa."

Both (as they careen over the cliff): "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

I understand from people who have watched this movie without such a handicap that I didn't miss much.

Now people like me have a recourse, in the form of Send Them Packing, a website that allows you to vote for and contribute money towards the purchase of a one-way ticket to Cuba for a host of Hollywood Trotskyites. The site's top three vote-getters so far are (in reverse order): Martin Sheen (58 votes), Rosie O'Donnell (79 votes), and Alec Baldwin (1e+19 votes).

I'm going to talk to the wife tonight about getting a second mortgage.