Apparently talks have broken down between the Arthur Anderson accounting firm and the Federal government. Prosecutors observe that Anderson's May 6th trial date leaves only sixteen days to negotiate a settlement, but spokesmen for Anderson insist that by their reckoning, there are really 3,438 days left.

"They have their numbers, and we have ours," noted an Anderson official who asked to remain anonymous.

Talks reportedly ended after Anderson representatives presented Federal officials with a bill for $47 billion. When questioned about the bill, an Anderson spokesman responded somewhat tersely, "Look, everybody pays us. We're Arthur f****** Anderson."